Showing Up

School holidays started a week into my challenge, and I thought it’d be easy to continue my 30 days of writing a post in 30 minutes… I’m in bed right now giggling at myself. I’ve been a mother for 14 years now, I know better than that! I thought I’d keep the routine I love, going to a certain cafe to sit and write for an hour. It would keep me sane as I would have this precious window of time to myself while Conor was home with his support worker. That hasn’t happened once. What has happened is each night I’m in bed around 9 pm with my laptop. Definitely not conducive to having an early night, but I have been surprised that I’m enjoying it even if I’m half asleep. This thought has triggered tonight’s topic (yes I’m in bed with my laptop at 9 pm again)… showing up even when the conditions are less favourable.

I’ve spent the last 5 years struggling to finish anything due to my mental health and then fibromyalgia. Over the past two years, as my health has slowly improved, I’ve completed a few courses, but as someone who has always not only finished all she puts her mind to but who also excels, this has been a hard fact to accept at times.

So here I am proving I can keep a commitment to myself again, that it’s not painful or scary that I’ll trigger a fibromyalgia symptom. I’m showing up even though I know this isn’t my best work. I’m releasing imperfect work into the world, especially this week, as I’m left with little energy at the end of the day. I just hope these posts make sense!