Letting Go With Grace
Over the last week, I’ve had a few people drop out of my life…
Over the last week, I’ve had a few people drop out of my life… maybe it was in the stars and planets? Eclipse season was quietly powerful for me. They each happened for various reasons, maybe they’re permanent, maybe they’re not. My choice, theirs or mutual, it doesn’t really matter when you accept that’s just the way life is.
Am I upset? No
Do I feel unwanted? No
Do I have any hard feelings towards them? No
Is this a reflection of me? No
Does it negatively affect how I feel about me? No
Does it mean I don’t care about them? No
Am I offended? No
Will life go on? Yes.
To me, it’s simply an organic happening. It’s not a reflection of either person, there’s simply no more alignment. It’s ok, it’s very fine. We’re all at different places in life. I might feel slightly more lonely without the connections, but I won’t die of loneliness. It’s an opportunity to look inward. What is within me? What is there to strip back, put down or discover? Maybe it’s time to attend some social gatherings around my interests to find new people in alignment with where I’m at in life right now.
How do I come to this peaceful state regarding letting go of people or them letting go of me? Of course, my Ancient Wisdom and meditation teacher training have had an integral role in shaping my ever-expanding and changing thoughts.
This is the perfect opportunity to refer to The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz which is based on ancient Toltec wisdom.
Be impeccable with your word
Do not take anything personally
Do not make assumptions
Always do your best
These four agreements are to “help us to break self-limiting agreements and replace them with agreements that bring us freedom, happiness, and love.”
I know in these situations of release to not take anything personally or make assumptions. We don’t ever fully know or understand an individual’s full perspective on life or any specific situation. It’s also none of our business, it’s none of our business what their opinion is of you or the situation.
There are times when my response is slow or maybe not at all, that’s when I’m struggling with the impeccable word agreement… which brings me to The Four Gates of Speech developed from the Sufi tradition.
TRUE: Is what I have to say true?
NECESSARY: Is what I have to say necessary?
TIMING: Is now the appropriate time to say this?
KINDNESS: Is what I'm saying kind?
Unless I’m sure of these, I cannot continue a conversation and so a connection may fall because of it and that is ok. My main objective is to have peace in my life.
I’ve grown considerably in the last few years after a lifetime of chasing validation that I’m loveable and loved, then being so scared of losing it that I push it away from holding it too tightly; a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t need that, I don’t need to feel I belong with others. I belong with me, I’m kind of stuck with me for a while, so that’s the relationship I’m going to take care of and nurture as a priority.
Ultimately, it all comes down to this…. Let Go, Let God. I’m not religious, but I am spiritual and when I see the name God, I replace it with the ‘Universe’ or ‘Universal energy’. For me, it’s interchangeable for whatever name you want to give that energy. It is a simple quote to remind you to let go and let the universe take care of it. Our job is to flow with it and trust ourselves to take care of and do the best for ourselves.